I’m talking to you, toilet paper! Although you’re sure not the only one.
But could there be a more stable commodity? You don’t have to convince me you solve a problem. No worries about losing your relevance. It’s never once crossed my mind to try something different for a change, like a box of Brillo pads.
So why compete to wipe out (pun intended) the competition by trying to blow my mind with your new “toilet paper math”?
Granted, I’m math challenged. And I didn’t have my calculator with me to figure out what’s what.
But how dumb do you hope I am? I know “1 + 1 does not equal 4 rolls.” “4 doesn’t really equal 6.” “6 doesn’t equal 24”. I know the difference between double roll and double-talk. “9 does not equal 10.” You won’t change my mind on that.
But people don’t just buy what you sell. They buy how you make them feel about themselves. And the stories you give them to tell others.
And toilet paper, you made me feel like crap. I landed on buying the only brand that just said “4 rolls, 4 equals 4.” I didn’t care that my pick are made of recycled paper or were missing butterflies or the scent of Sunday morning breakfast at grandma’s. What I saw was what I got. Thank you.
Don’t get me wrong, I love luxury.
But if you want to offer me a big value, here’s a real luxury. Treat me with the understanding and compassion of a company that gets we’re all bombarded with offers and messages and tomfoolery shouting at us how valuable they are. Our minds are already blown enough.
Sure, you and I aren’t a major commodity with jumbo marketing budgets selling what people just can’t live without.
But here’s where the rest of us share a level playing field: Our story is our business’ most valuable asset.
If you’re struggling with yours, let’s talk. Maybe I’m what’s right for you now.
Thank you for reading!